I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
