oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
