i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
