Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize