But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
