One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
