Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
