pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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