physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
