So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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