I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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