He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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