How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
