so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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