YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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