I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
