we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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