Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
