I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
