He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
