im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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