Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's rum buckets o'clock
COCAINE IS GR8
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
