Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
