marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
