Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
