wat bout pragnant strippers??
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Randomize
