Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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