like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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