Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
