How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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