What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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