i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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