That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i drank out of a bidet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
