She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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