Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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