my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize