Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
