There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
