I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
