Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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