Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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