if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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