yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize