I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
