I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
