Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize