So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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