If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it's like heaven, but drunker
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
