Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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