we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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