Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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