i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sext me about skeletons
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
