Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize