I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
