not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
