he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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