It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
