Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize