You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
