So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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