just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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