I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
