I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
