The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We have so much sex to catch up on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
