No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
