if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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