You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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