Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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