She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
