I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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