You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize