It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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