the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
