I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
