Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
be right there i have to get my cape
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
