fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize