Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
