I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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