Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
