im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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